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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/29496582">Fading</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/LeftoverParadox/pseuds/LeftoverParadox'>LeftoverParadox</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Sanders Sides (Web Series)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Angst, Character Death, Grieving, Self-Sacrifice, Suicide</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-02-16</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-02-16</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-16 00:54:58</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Mature</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Major Character Death</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>1,049</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/29496582</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/LeftoverParadox/pseuds/LeftoverParadox</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>The Sides are not themselves....<br/>Janus sees Logan glitching, and Patton's eyes dull, and wears gloves himself to cover his fading hands. He knows that a lesson needs to be learned. It will be a hard truth, but one needed for Thomas to survive. </p><p>TW for suicide, self sacrifice, major character death and all the angst.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>2</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>22</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Fading</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Janus saw the issue, before he realised the problem.</p><p>The Sides were not just disagreeing, but disagreeing with that they <i>were</i>. They berated Logic for being logical, Virgil for being anxious, and Remus for being.... Remus. </p><p>So when they similarly dismissed every word from him as a lie, Deceit had tried to be honest, to be better. </p><p>His gloves hid the fact his fingers were fading, hazy, like the memory of a concept.</p><p>“I can see right through your lies....” he said to himself, in a bathroom mirror that no matter how often he cleaned did not made his image any clearer. </p><p>More than lies though, he was self preservation. Thomas's self preservation. </p><p>Thomas would not be Thomas without his different aspects, but they were tearing each other and themselves apart. </p><p>There needed to be a lesson, a demonstration of what would happen if current behaviours continued. </p><p>Selfishly, he wondered if he could convince Remus to serve, but no, that would not do. Thomas needed his creativity, both sides of it. Likewise he depended on Patton for moral guidance, and Logan for much needed reality checks. Virgil had already proven that he too was essential.</p><p>That left.... him.</p><p>It would have felt better, he thought, if Virgil had not looked upon him with such scorn, that Roman had not turned away when he entered the common area. </p><p>“I” Janus said, and commanded the attention of the room, “have been trying to be more honest.”</p><p>He looked around, and saw Virgil shrouded in ominous black shadows, and Logan jerking like a bad frame-rate. Patton's eyes were dull and lifeless, and Roman had no puff to his chest, no glint in his smile.</p><p>Remus, ever the understudy, too, was washed out, his blacks bleached grey, monotonous, boring. </p><p>Janus removed his gloves, to reveal that he too was affected, transparent, fading.</p><p>“This goes against my purpose.”</p><p>The skin pinched round his face as he felt himself slip, becoming less and less of what he once was.</p><p>“I denied myself for sake of trying to fit in.”  Such honesty cut him, deep into the core of his function, but he furrowed his mismatched eyes and pressed onward. </p><p>“But if I am not Deceit, then …. I shall not be.”</p><p>Virgil reacted first, seeing the danger, sensing the risk. </p><p>“Wait! Stop!” he cried, as Janus's hat fell from his head, his body no longer corporeal enough to sustain its presence.</p><p>Janus forced out, with his last strength, “Be yourselves. For Thomas.”</p><p>It was Remus, who went first to the hat, all that was left as Janus faded from view.</p><p>“No! No, no, no, no, no, no ,no....”</p><p>He lifted it to his chest, voice shrill with panic.</p><p>“I never appreciated that you stayed! Never regretted putting scorpions in your teapot! I always knew exactly what you were saying!!”</p><p>He glared at the rest, shocked still.</p><p>“I do not want you back!!!” he screamed, desperate. </p><p>Remus grasped at the hat, now without owner. His fingernails dugs grooves against the rim.</p><p>“Fuck... he's gone. Lies cannot bring him back...”</p><p>Remus keened then, threw his head back and wailed discordant and terrible. As he did, his shirt started to darken again, returning to its original black.</p><p>Logan walked over, his step shuddering. He looked ready to join in with Remus's grief, tears and all, when he stopped, and caught sight of Remus's clothes. Frowning, a theory assembling, Logan held up his hand, and watched as sections of him glitched, as had been happening ever since he had tried to be less clinical, less formal.... less logical. </p><p>“He... he did this deliberately.” he looked at the others, voice serious, stern. </p><p>“Janus knew what would happen if he continued to deny his function, his purpose, and he did it anyway. He sacrificed himself to show us what we<i> need</i> to do.”</p><p>Logan straightened his tie, and felt... resolved. Less like an equation that had not added up correctly, or an unknown variable, but himself, Logan, <i>Logic</i>.</p><p>“It could be a trick...” Virgil warned. Then, as the shadows around him reacted, he jerked upright, wary of a trap. The darkness that had been cocooning him ebbed; his worries and concerns had been given proper voice and focus, and not dismissed and allowed to grow hazy and wild, thus he not longer radiated vague panic and stress. He scowled, both that Logan seemed to be right, but also.... that he himself had not exactly been kind to Janus. </p><p>Patton shook his head, disbelieving, “No. He cannot be <i>gone </i>gone.”</p><p>Logan turned, “Condolences.” he said, but his fists were clenched against reaching out in sympathy.</p><p>“Janus.... Couldn't he have just told us? He did not have to... ”  Patton's words failed in his throat as he came to realise that Janus would not return. His eyes were bright with tears, as they started to roll down his cheeks.</p><p>Remus looked up then, eyes bloodshot and furious. </p><p>“Would you have believed him?! Any of you!? You all called him liar, and Snake, and worse! If he had said what was happening to him, explained it fully, would any of you truly believed him without proof?”</p><p>Silence answered. Remus's face contorted into a snarl, and he brought the hat closer to his chest, brokenly sobbing. </p><p>“Well he gave you proof.... He gave you everything!! I hope you're fuckin' happy!”</p><p>Roman was still, eyes fixed on the black hat in Remus's hands. It rapidly twisted out of shape as Remus continued to grip it tightly. </p><p>He walked over, and laid a hand on his brother's shoulder.</p><p>“I will... <i>We</i> will make a memorial.” he said, as an idea formed. “Something he would like, something fitting. Something to ensure that his sacrifice will not be forgotten, or ignored. Words craved in marble, and etched in brightest gold...”</p><p>It had been a time since Roman had felt so impassioned for a new project, and he had missed the ardent energy of creativity. He stood a little stronger, a little taller. Remus, leaned into his leg, nodding.</p><p>There was a moment, of silence, of grief.</p><p>Virgil, was first to break it, “What do we do now...?” he asked, scared.</p><p>Logan turned, and adjusted his glasses.<br/>
“We for-fill his last wishes. We be ourselves. For us, for Thomas... and for Janus.”</p>
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